One Is The Loneliest Number
Source: Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash.
We are currently experiencing a loneliness epidemic. At least that’s what a Guardian article I read this week suggests.
Cindy Lamothe, in her opinion piece entitled Let’s Touch: why physical connection between human beings matters, says through research its been found that loneliness is linked to many serious health concerns, with a greater chance of illness and a 50 per cent increased risk of early death on that list.
She says that the number of people reporting loneliness has more than doubled since the 1980s, which coincides with the technology boom, the adoption of the personal computer in homes and the rise of the internet in 1993.
And her reporting can be backed up by the 2018 Australian Loneliness Report, which found that one in four Australians say they feel a sense of isolation at least once a week.
The ABC has gone as far as to suggest that this is becoming a public health crisis, with a rising number of millennials in particular feeling the brunt, along with depression and anxiety – which debunks the myth that it is only elderly people who tend to feel isolated and alone, when in fact they are the least lonely.
Source: Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash.
Cindy herself claims that, as a writer who spends so much time on social media, she has attributed bouts of sickness with prolonged periods away from her social circle, and that human connection, touch and the transferal of empathy, love and appreciation through positive contact like consensual hugs or kisses is just as important for health as drinking water and eating a balanced diet.
So can this epidemic be solved with a simple hug? Probably, science suggests.
The power of positive and consensual physical touch is strong indeed - even more so when accompanied with positive social interaction.
Let’s look at babies, for example. Prenatally, they develop a sense of touch from about 16 weeks onwards and can be seen touching their own faces in the womb, which is said to be preparing them for touch in the outside world.
Outside the womb, positive touch (not to be misconstrued with negative touch in anyway), such as soothing, hugs, skin-to-skin contact after birth and during simple play, can help significantly boost development in all areas, including socially, emotionally, cognitively, language skills and physical growth – as well as creating greater bonds with parents.
Like The Urban Child Institute suggests: “When parents engage in appropriate touch, young children have improved chances to successfully develop socially, emotionally and intellectually.”
In adults, touch is so important in social interactions for showing empathy and love, and there is evidence to suggest it can even help relieve pain or speed up healing through the release of Oxycontin.
Did you know there is something related to loneliness known as ‘skin hunger’? It’s when humans literally crave something as simple as a hug, which seems to be so intrinsic to our basic needs and yet in a more connected world than ever it has become something so rare. Crazy!
“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”
So if touch and social interaction are the antidote for loneliness, isolation and a whole myriad other things in our fast-paced, hyper-connected 2019, the rest of the picture lies in the increasingly popular trend of digital detoxing - a subject that lends itself to a whole series of upcoming articles at Home & Family.
American studies have shown that the more time adolescents spend on social media and less time in ‘real life’, the more they expressed a feeling of loneliness and isolation and the more they withdrew from social activities. Why? Not all human interaction is weighted the same. Online interaction cannot substitute for in-person contact and visa versa. Online only provides emotional interaction as opposed to offline, which provides social and emotional interaction.
From my time studying the science of Network Theory and Digital Cultures at The University of Sydney – a science that was in its infancy back in 2012 - and through the many studies observed, one thing that’s become clear with the rise of the internet is that social media only strengthens interpersonal ties in the period between face-to-face social interactions, it does not operate instead of offline connections. Studies showed people were more likely so connect online while simultaneous offline relationships existed.
Don’t get me wrong. Technology and our devices are so important and very much have a place in our day-to-day lives.
But with the overuse of devices oftentimes sacrificing human interaction, there is now an increasing movement to consciously spend designated times away from them to be more in the moment, connect with others, create healthier relationships and improve overall happiness. It’s not a digital boycott, but it’s about creating digital boundaries.
Source: William Iven on Unsplash.
In the lead up to this article, I challenged myself to spend 24 hours off Facebook, even going as far as deactivating my account.
Because I work from home and in the same sphere as Cindy from the Guardian, I don’t see a lot of people in my day and normally social media helps fill the social gaps. Cutting out Facebook for a day felt a little more isolating for me personally, but I noticed something miraculous happening too.
When I visited my local shops, I had my head up and I spied friends who stopped for a chat. Shop assistants would make small talk, and small talk turned into a conversation. I even gave one tips for icing a cake with butter cream.
What my little experiment taught me was that, while social media has it’s place helping to stem loneliness for a time, true connections can be made if you take the time to just look up.
Indeed, the team at Grain & Weave have embraced this topic wholeheartedly, using our in-home shoots as a moment for clients to step away from the devices and spend time with family, creating moments in time to hang as art on the wall - we even published another article on the very topic!
So hugging more and posting less seems to be the cure for loneliness, but there is also one last thing: changing your mindset.
Studies show that lonely people often default to thinking the worst of themselves and others - Mark Manson, in his book The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F***, calls it the ‘feedback loop from hell’ - and it’s only through the rejection of listening to this ‘critical voice’ inside of us that leads to more fulfilling relationships without the baggage of expectation and even reduces the pang of isolation in between real-life contact - especially in those who live alone.
So here’s the formula: let go of negativity, spend time with your family and loved ones, and check your device at the door once in a while - sounds like the recipe of a balanced life to me.
And if in doubt… sometimes all it takes is a hug.
Home & Family are also now completely social! Follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.
Contributions:
Got the best ever parenting hack, a story idea or a new (or old!) product for your home you absolutely can’t live without? We’d love to hear about it and share your secret with the rest of the family community.
Simply shoot a quick message to our new Content Creator, Carla, at carla@grainandweave.com.au for the chance to have your ideas featured on our page.
